Not sure who came up with tis dribble – Dance like there is nobody watching. But for the love of Moses, please do not dance in Amazonia (infamous Wan Chai bar that is now on the decline as some tosser has seen fit to mention it in the Douchebag Eurotrashers Guide to Hong Kong). It is not cool. After a truly awful day at the track, I stopped round ol’ Amazonia for a cocktail to drown my stupid tierce selections, and the small dance floor was crowed with all sorts of middle-aged cretins dancing to Led Zep, The Clash, and Queen. This was such a gruesome sight, I quickly downed my JD and bolted for the door. As soon as I found a suitable quiet environment for reflection, I quickly called Dr Bunnga for advice. Unable to reach him – some polar expedition I am told, I trotted over to the Fire House. Dr Randy – Where are you ? Your the only white guy I know that can hold his own on the Dance Floor… Good Band, Ice Box, but the blokes dancing…words fail me.
darn right, one of those fools knocked into me on the dancefloor at New Makati the other nite and spilled my warm beer. those dancing queens are a good advertisement for contraception I reckon! i thought of punching his lights out but didn’t and then felt the sweet glow of justice when he went home with a toothless Filipina my mate had banged just 45 minutes before. poetic!
plees sir, i am pilipina also and my tooths bery bad also and only $50 or $100 dollars help me fix it and may be i find nice old man take care of me?? thanking you much
ha ha, that sounds funny!
i used to get all these spam sms messages to my mobile phone and got the “dance like nobody’s watching” crap a few times. one of them also advised to “fuck like you’re being filmed”. i thought it was such a good idea that i started a career in adult movies straight away, and now here i am – the one and only Mr Rusty Nailz!
best job i ever had.
Dr Bungga here. Don’t worry everyone, the Polar Expedition story was just a ruse to tell the wife before an extended trip to Bangkok. The purchase of all that cold weather gear worked a treat, I can tell you.
Anyway, as I frequently grace the slick dancefloors of shady nightclubs with my own brand of boogaloo, the only advice I can give you for those moments confronted by some numbnut fool dancing like there’s no tomorrow, is that an ice-cube slipped with precision timing under the heel will send them crashing into oblivion.
My oh my, ice cubes, ice box, polar expeditions… I think we need to turn up the heat!
BTW, my new book, The 113 Characteristics of Intensely Foolish People (and How to Combat Them) will be published next month and will be available at all good bookstores for the very reasonable price of $29.99. For those of you who have any, tell your friends!
Warm regards,
Dr Randy