One of the best things I’ve read all week – I can’t possibly top this fine reporting at The Onion:- Phantom Diner Appears Only To Those In Their Drunkest Hour
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i am a Frenchman and so i like onions a lot, but i never am hearing of this place where is the phantom restaurant. it sounds good to me. i like garlic also.
I am a famous food critic, except no-one knows what I really look like, which is rather splendid because it means that I can go to all kinds of fancy eateries and sample their food without having to suffer the miserable ordeal of a toadying owner / manager / waiter / chef trying to influence my review.
Food critics – IMHO – are the finest people around. They have taste and sophistication, and they are generally fat, which in some countries of the world is a sign of immense wealth. I am also wealthy, so I don’t need to go to one of those miserable 3rd World places for people to think I’m rich – I just take the Bentley for a spin around central London, and make obscene gestures at people through the darl tinted glass.
I think this article by The Onion is a hoax, because I have never heard of such a place.
i keep waking up on Sunday mornings with what looks like kebab sauce crusted on my jeans, but i swear i can never remember eating one the night before. sometimes there’s a chick next to me too, and i swear i can never remember bringing her home, especially if she’s ugly, which she usually is. one time, i woke up next to an ugly chick, and i didn’t have any kebab sauce on my jeans but the girl did have what looked like mayonnaise dried in her hair. couldn’t remember her name though.
is this the phantom diner everyone’s talking about…?
what a PIG! why do all men judge women by how pretty their face is? people like Noel disgust me!
prissy missy – that’s not true… we look at the tits and ass also… duh!
that’s right – i always say that “every face has it’s position”. sometimes it’s a position where i do not ave to see that she is not pretty…
well, you can’t f$%k a personality, that’s for sure!
I GIVE UP!!
YOU’RE ALL PIGS!!
yeah, and i bet you’re a pig too, girl… otherwise you wouldn’t whine so much about men only wanting pretty girls!
btw, i’m making a new adult movie called “Rusty Nailz A Hundred And One Butt-Ugly Chickz”. you might want to audition??
ha ha…