We really got to feel for this fellow … down to his last few pennies, living on mashed potatoes and beer, and WHAM…..

69 Year Old Briton Murdered by Thai Wife

One of the best things I’ve read all week – I can’t possibly top this fine reporting at The Onion:- Phantom Diner Appears Only To Those In Their Drunkest Hour

My Thai hooker friend turned me on to this very fine brand of spirits. Not only is it cost effective – but it’s available at all fine 7-11’s throughout Hong Kong!!!

Its not as bad as you might think!!

Reading the July 7-14 issue of the New Yorker last night a came across this story in the Back Pages Dept written by Nick Paumgarten. Chip Taylor – a true crapweasal man in every sense:

“If you had stumbled into Banjo Jim’s, in the East Village, on a recent Wednesday night and encountered a sixty-something guy leading a band through a fervent rendition of “Wild Thing,” for an audience of two dozen or so, you might have concluded, “This is lame,” and slipped back out the door. But it wasn’t lame, because the sixty-something guy was Chip Taylor, who wrote “Wild Thing,” among many other hit songs, both country and rock—“Angel of the Morning,” “Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)”—and who has, at various times, rounded out the royalties with his earnings as a professional gambler, and who also happens to be the brother of the actor Jon Voight, which makes him an uncle to Angelina Jolie. So here was a man who can perform “Wild Thing” whenever and however he likes.

Taylor’s biography is an odd one, even in the misfit pantheon of great country songwriters. First off, he’s from Yonkers. His father, Elmer Voight, was the head pro at a golf club in Scarsdale, who liked to tell his three sons (the third brother, Barry, is a prominent volcanologist) that he was an undercover agent for the F.B.I. As a boy, Taylor and some friends started a country band, and when he was sixteen he was signed by King Records. A few years later, he got a job writing country songs for the publishing arm of Columbia Records. Chet Atkins, the guitar player and head A. & R. man at RCA Records in Nashville, took a shine to a song he’d written and, not quite believing that its composer could be from New York, asked to see everything he wrote. This enabled Taylor to give up a nascent gig as a professional golfer (hence the stage name Chip—he’d holed out from off the green several Sundays in a row) and settle into a career as a Brill Building songwriter, turning out hits for Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Jackie DeShannon, Evie Sands, and Emmylou Harris, among many others.

Each day, he’d ride the train down from Yonkers to compose in a cubicle on the second floor of 1650 Broadway. At quitting time, he’d go to the printer’s to pick up the next day’s racing form, commute home (wife, children, house—the full catastrophe), study the form, pick two or three horses, and call them in the next morning. It was a fine living. His winning percentage was very high, and most bookies—except, he says, Meyer Lansky, who piggybacked on Taylor’s picks—stopped taking his bets. In 1981, Taylor quit the music business to focus on the gambling, partnering with the legendary horse handicapper Ernie Dahlman. They worked together out of an OTB in Hauppauge, on Long Island. Taylor also learned to count cards and win at blackjack; eventually the Atlantic City casinos banned him. He took up songwriting and recording again twelve years ago, and these days he writes music and plays the horses, sometimes simultaneously, in his apartment, on East Fifty-fourth Street.

Taylor was at Banjo Jim’s to celebrate the release of his latest album, “New Songs of Freedom.” Among the guests was his ex-ex-wife, Joanie, whom he remarried two months ago, in Las Vegas. Earlier, he played a song that he wrote for her in 1956, “Little Joan,” and she stood by the bar, beaming. She had come into the city from Westchester with a couple of girlfriends, and was hurrying home after the show. Married or not, she and Taylor don’t live together. “It works,” she said. “He goes out to dinner at ten. I go to bed at eight. My son-in-law said, ‘I hope this marriage doesn’t ruin your wonderful divorce.’ ”

Apologies to all, for having missed the opportunity to post on the anniversary of Jim Morrison’s death 9 days ago. I’ve been battling some evil demons in Wan Chai over the last 6 weeks, and am finally starting to draw some sober breaths today. Now if only I can find that wagon, I fear it has left without me.

Anyway, back to Mr Mojo Rising. Morrison was more than a poet, songwriter and a performer. He was a very fine drunk. Classic line kids if you haven’t heard it – What is the difference was between a drunk and an alcoholic, Just grin and reply, “us drunks don’t have to go to meetings.”

Got this piece of spam from a well meaning friend yesterday. Advice to avoiding impairing one’s liver  according to this health-food nut. Most of these causes seem pretty retarded if you ask me, but I can’t imagine how they missed the big one?

The main causes of liver damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.
2. Not urinating in the morning.
3. Too much eating.
4. Skipping breakfast.
5. Consuming too much medication.
6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener.
7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.
8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.

Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to ’schedule.’

After a brutal campaign in Wan Chai this weekend, I was wondering why the hangovers seem to be getting worse. Could it be my age? After a hour googling the internet in an attempt to get some useful information on hangovers and the effect of booze on old men, I came across this quote from Faulkner and decided to do nothing.

There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.

Professor

In Hong Kong, a tip is not always expected as a service charge is generally included.
However, this custom is certainly to be avoided when out on a bender, or at your favorite pub such as Amazonia in Wan Chai, Hong Kong.
Yes, this may seem obvious, but you would not be surprised at the number of cheap cretins that
think nothing of consuming a dozen or so Carlsburgs, buy a half-dozen Puta Margaritas, and leave nothing
for the hard-working servers!  Don’t be a doucebag – tip your waitress.

Guys, we have often found it’s useful to pull out of your ass a bit of poetry at the precisely right moment. Although it may be a bit harder than memorising a good Irish joke, classic poetry can show how sensitive and literary you are to your date.

For today, we’ll start with a popular one from E.E Cummings, This one can be useful for wedding toasts, funerals, or just trying to get some.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Never make a pretty woman your wife! take it from my personal point of view – get an ugly girl to marry you.

Dedicated to all those fine people in the Glory Days of RSD – Vincent, Justin, Sham, Kumar, Gondo, Mikey, Brad, Reggie, et al…