Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger

Apologies to all, for having missed the opportunity to post on the anniversary of Jim Morrison’s death 9 days ago. I’ve been battling some evil demons in Wan Chai over the last 6 weeks, and am finally starting to draw some sober breaths today. Now if only I can find that wagon, I fear it has left without me.

Anyway, back to Mr Mojo Rising. Morrison was more than a poet, songwriter and a performer. He was a very fine drunk. Classic line kids if you haven’t heard it – What is the difference was between a drunk and an alcoholic, Just grin and reply, “us drunks don’t have to go to meetings.”

Whiskey and 50

After a brutal campaign in Wan Chai this weekend, I was wondering why the hangovers seem to be getting worse. Could it be my age? After a hour googling the internet in an attempt to get some useful information on hangovers and the effect of booze on old men, I came across this quote from Faulkner and decided to do nothing.

There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.

Professor

Lesson 10 – Memorise a bit of Poetry

Guys, we have often found it’s useful to pull out of your ass a bit of poetry at the precisely right moment. Although it may be a bit harder than memorising a good Irish joke, classic poetry can show how sensitive and literary you are to your date.

For today, we’ll start with a popular one from E.E Cummings, This one can be useful for wedding toasts, funerals, or just trying to get some.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Lesson 9. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life…

Never make a pretty woman your wife! take it from my personal point of view – get an ugly girl to marry you.

Dedicated to all those fine people in the Glory Days of RSD – Vincent, Justin, Sham, Kumar, Gondo, Mikey, Brad, Reggie, et al…

Lesson 7. Learn a quote from the Good Book

Every once in a while, someone comes along and thinks you need saving. Perhaps its your shabby look, that smell of booze leaking out of your pores from last nights bender – and some do-gooder decides what you need is more religion. I’ve found that there are plenty of Bible verses that are suitable for drunks like us. Here’s one that they never quote you:

Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Proverbs 31:06-07

I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth

This is my little blog about life, and the things I learned along the way. I was once in a very dark place – no happiness, no joy, no love, – and how I was able to pick myself up and create a wonderful, special and fulfilling life. My only goal now is to spread the word…teach others what I’ve learned before I leave this glorious and wonderful planet, and maybe, just maybe, get a chance to share it with Oprah … or at least at AA.