Whiskey and 50

After a brutal campaign in Wan Chai this weekend, I was wondering why the hangovers seem to be getting worse. Could it be my age? After a hour googling the internet in an attempt to get some useful information on hangovers and the effect of booze on old men, I came across this quote from Faulkner and decided to do nothing.

There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.

Professor

Lesson 6. Do Not Dance Like Nobody is Watching. Really. We Mean It!

Not sure who came up with tis dribble – Dance like there is nobody watching. But for the love of Moses, please do not dance in Amazonia (infamous Wan Chai bar that is now on the decline as some tosser has seen fit to mention it in the Douchebag Eurotrashers Guide to Hong Kong). It is not cool. After a truly awful day at the track, I stopped round ol’ Amazonia for a cocktail to drown my stupid tierce selections, and the small dance floor was crowed with all sorts of middle-aged cretins dancing to Led Zep, The Clash, and Queen. This was such a gruesome sight, I quickly downed my JD and bolted for the door. As soon as I found a suitable quiet environment for reflection, I quickly called Dr Bunnga for advice. Unable to reach him – some polar expedition I am told, I trotted over to the Fire House. Dr Randy – Where are you ? Your the only white guy I know that can hold his own on the Dance Floor… Good Band, Ice Box, but the blokes dancing…words fail me.

Lesson 5. Expect the Worst and You Won’t Be Disappointed

What could have been a very fine day at the Sha Tin Race course, turned into misery as my key banker of the day – ANKH MORPORK in the 8th race, had his second placing thrown out in the stewards room due to interference.

As one of my favourite author’s instructs us: There will always be something to ruin our lives, it all depends on what or which finds us first. We are always ripe and ready to be taken.

Of course, a more sensible gentleman would have been doing his washing and ironing and preparing for his trip to Tokyo tomorrow. I on the other hand, having lost all sense and sensibility sometime during war (or was it sars?), chose to get my hopes up on winning what might have been fine Quinella. So lesson du jour, dear reader’s – don’t expect much and after a crappy day at the Races – don’t go home via Wan Chai, where there is a good chance you will be taken again.